2013前夕夜

前夕夜，不到处热闹，

只是安安静静的在家度过。

是长大了吗？还是累了？

以前的我一定会找机会到处去玩去闹，

可是现在却只想自己一个人呆着。

或许，

是不想勉强自己在别人面前假笑。

2013年过得太快，伤害自己的人与事也太多。

可能真的，自己太容易被欺负，

也或者是自己把所有的事情看得太重，

把自己绷得太紧，

我好想休息。。

放弃从小的理想，担起全家人的抱负，

选择了一条不容易走的道路。

就因为这份含有虚荣心的抱负，

令身边的所有人承担了不必要的压力，

而自己也自身难保，无能为力。

想象着自己的未来，崎岖不平，

我很怕

可是除了怕，我还能做些什么？

对我期望很高的人们，对不起，我真的做不到。

2013年也让我学会了独立。

看见人面兽心，看见自己未来将面临的残酷。

上大学，大家的价值观都会变得不一样，

或许是自己的脑袋太笨，不够别人成熟，

被欺负，被背叛，被冷落。。

一切的一切，太惨忍，太难以接受。

我到底还能相信朋友些什么？

难道朋友之间只剩下互相恭维？互相赞美？？

我不明白。

我真的觉得自己变了，变得残酷了。

就因为不想别人伤害自己，变得自私自利，

不再去理会别人的感受。

我真的不想变，

可是自己也清楚知道，我的心再也负荷不了任何疼痛。

2013年，我过得不快乐。

Life long career - MBBS in IMU

Hi.

Not sure if anyone still visit this blog, but I think I'll just update everything here since my getting forgetful, I'm afraid that one day I might forget about what actually happened in my life.

So yeah, from the title! I am a university student now! And surprisingly, I'm doing Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery(MBBS) at International Medical University, Bukit Jalil campus! I said it is surprise because I remember I promised myself that I will never be a doctor when I'm young, and noowwwwww, I'm a medical student *AHEM* a journey that I never think of trying when I was young. HOW IRONIC!

Yeap, I gave up my dream to go overseas for my degree because I'm doing local program in IMU now, a dream that I was dreaming about since I was 4 years old. I'm not sure where were the courage came from when I decide to give up this dream. However, what done is done, there is no turning back though I regretted few times since I entered MBBS.

Now, let's talk about MBBS! Which is........BLOODY OVERWHELMING! Trust me, medicine is the worst shit ever, I seriously don't understand why I choose this as my life-long career fml. A simple bachelor of science degree, you're only required to major in one particular subject, for example, biochemistry, microbiology, pathology etc, depends on what you're interested in. Well, MBBS is combination of EVERYTHING, you're required to do biochemistry, anatomy, physiology, microbiology, pharmacology, parasitology, community medicine, statistics, basically you're majoring in EVERYTHING. Apart from that, you actually need to be good in communication skills as well for your clinical skills, you will be communicating with patients and at the mean time you have to show your listening skills and empathy towards your patients! Beside  that, you have to be a fast thinker, as your patient is telling you about the signs and symptoms, the possible diagnosis or differential diagnosis have to be in your mind already. Multi-tasking? YES!

Well to be honest, MBBS is not my cup of tea lol but it's partly my fault because I didn't do enough research before I make a decision. Everything I learnt in semester 1 is like the combination of all knowledge that I learnt from my past 18 years of studies -.- NO JOKE! So guys,just a little advice it you're considering on MBBS cause medicine is a life-long learning coarse. If you can't bear with studying and reading a book EVERYDAY, no, don't take MBBS or you will regret for life. I sounded like I hate MBBS so much LOL. Actually there is also fun part of it if you enjoy helping people? Because after every clinic visit and hospital posting, I will feel extremely happy that I'm a healthcare professional that I can assist people for their health, and if I can graduate successfully, I will be doing a meaningful job because I SAVE PEOPLE'S LIFE! Imagine how wonderful is it ? :) Hopefully I can pass my semester examination and proceed on!!

Alright I shall stop whining about the studies. Let's talk about my university, IMU now! To be honest, IMU isn't those type of university that I dreamt of since young, IMU is really a small campus, you only need 15 minutes for the campus tour, and you can get familiar with places in IMU in just one day!Haha. However there is also a good side of this university which the students are assigned into different sport houses and we will sport event which we called IMU CUP every year! Remember back in high school we have different sport house like red yellow blue green house and we have to compete with each other and choose the best house? We have 6 sport houses DRACO-blue, PHEONIX-red, HYDRA-green, GRIFFIN-orange, PEGASUS-white and TAURUS-black. Very "harry potter" like haha! I'm in draco which we scored 3rd in overall result in IMU CUP 2013 hehe. I think this sport system is good because we get to know more people from other cohort like I met many N&D friends!

As for the people in IMU, wweelllllllllll of course they are know as good as my high school and college friends. Maybe because I'm considered young in my batch, I found that most of the are very serious and I just can't mix around with them. *big sigh* and actually there is a lot of things happening throughout this 8 months especially during IMU cup which made me so disappointed with all my friends around me! It's alright, easy come easy go :)

Really wanted to post some pictures up but I'm just so lazy to look for the pictures. Just a little update just in case I have no time to update anymore. MEDICAL STUDENTS DON'T BLOG OKAY HAHA because we really have no other time to spare!

Just a short message to the future me :
You wouldn't get a chance to enter this coarse if you don't have the ability to do so. JUST DO IT FOR 5 YEARS AMANDA LAW! You can definitely get through this!!

AUSMAT Night 2012 - Star of Sunway

It was the most amazing night for the year 2012...

I seriously don't know how to express how amazing it was. A night where you can spend with EVERY friends you met in this course, everyone dressed formally and blink blink for the night that we had been waiting for since January.

I faced so much difficulties hunting my prom dress T_T I nearly give up and decided to wear my high school's prom dress but then eventually I found this sweet pink dress from Sunway Pyramid and it costs me RM189.90 tsk tsk tsk. Initially I think that this dress is too mature for me but then eventually it turned out better than I expected :p Well, Wei Shen told me that I can be found easily when I'm missing from le gang by looking for my sharp pink dress HAHAHAH. Plus most of them are wearing darker colour so.. kinda love this dress!!!

Alright, let's begin from the morning. Early in the morning my mom brought me to saloon to set my hair. This year I'm going for a little mature style. I curled my hair! :p ehehe. This is the first time I curled my hair honestly. After that, I went to Su Wen's house for make up session. However, by the time I reached her house, her mother and sister are going out for lunch, and they already helped Su Wen to do her make up. So no choice I have to do my make up myself. I am glad that I went to grooming class before, and I can proudly say that I did pretty well on my make up!!!!! In fact, I only draw the eyeliner HAHA, and I didn't touch the other part anymore. I'm not sure why my cheeks are so naturally red that day LOL. Still, a big thanks to Su Wen's sister who help me put the fake eyelashes on and also thanks to auntie who fetch me all the way to and fro from Sunway Pyramid Convention Centre.

And just so you know, I'm not sure why there are always SOMETHING BAD will happen on every big event that happened in my life fml. For example, on my VERY FIRST award ceremony in my life where I got champion for dancing competition. I fell down when I'm walking up to the stage wtf. And this time, I did this super big mistake which I didn't bring my AUSMAT night ticket T_______T I know I am so stupid I know.... I was so busy calling my lecturer hoping that she still remember I bought the ticket from her but she didn't pick up the call. You can't imagine how nervous am I at that time. :( Luckily Miss Julia let us in at last :)

So, the first person I met is Vince at Sunway Hotel. He is wearing like university nerdy students AHAHAHAH. Then we walked all the way from the hotel to SPCC. And another bad thing happened is that I wore the wrong heels I guess. My dress always stuck with the heels and made me nearly fall down :( Beside that, I'm having performance on that night itself, so I'm carrying a BIG BAG with my costumes in it but at last Vince can't stand it because the bag is so not match with my dress, so he decided to carry it for me HAHAHAH thanks for keeping my image :p After that I went to SPCC alone first to do my rehearsal while Vince and Su Wen went to buy instant camera's film. I received a good news here HAHA Kai Ling forgot to bring her ticket as well. LOL *grin* By the way, I did my rehearsal in dress OMG seriously killing me! The event was supposed to begin at 6p.m but you know, Malaysia's culture, VIPs are always late, so the event dragged till 7+p.m and that time everyone is craving for food already. But it's alright, cause we really had so much funs and also many photo sessions with our friends while waiting for the time to pass.

I forget about what time is my performance already but I remember it was after our AUSMAT graduation video. When a VIP is giving a speech, we Rainbow Pixie went to the washroom to change our dance costume and we also had our final rehearsal. I'm not sure why but I am nervous to the maximum and my legs are started to cramp! Fyi, I have this thing where my hand and leg will cramp when I'm too nervous!! After that we went to the backstage to get ready and this is the time that I won't forget forever because I really tear a lot at the backstage when our graduation video is played. Life in AUSMAT is like the best year ever and I didn't want it to end. The video has all the flashbacks and memories which I will never forget..

Hokayyy , back to my performance, it was kind of success I guess? And I am really high on the stage. It's like this is the last thing I can do for AUSMAT.

After the performance, I have to go up on stage to get a certificate for being an AUSMAT student council's member. Inevitably that the student council also gave me lots of memories, working hard for every event together with other members and I have my personal noticeboard because of this LOL. After getting the certificate, I rushed to change my dress back and I am so hungry at that time wtf. 

Because it was to rush so I didn't get to change back my formal attire. I'm happy with it cause I'm worried that I will fall down with my heels haha.

As for the remaining parts, let the pictures tell the story! :)

Michelle Chan, the girl who impressed me a lot with her presentation skills. You're such a friendly girl! :)

Andrew Ho. The big brother for me in AUSMAT. Taught me a lot and thanks for taking good care of us during the field trip :) 

Edmund Ng! The guy who always bully me with my height! :(

Loo Hong! A really sampat girl. All the best for MBBS course!! :)

Miss Ruba, she is a business lecturer. She didn't teach me but we worked together in student council. It is my pleasure to work with such a lovely lecturer.

Chew Kee! Mathematics Specialist and EALD buddy!! Happy talking with you every morning before maths spec class :D

Miss Yip, my mathematics lecturer. View my previous post about her! :D

Yue Lin aka Yue Lin Lin!!!! We always bully each other during EALD class but I'm happy to have her as my friend! Entertained me a lot hahahaha love you girl! :)

Puk! A friend from Singapore. Mathematics class has so much fun with his existence. 

Sooshi. One of the pixies. Super talented in dancing and I am happy to perform together with her two times in this year. Hopefully both of us are not giving up dancing in the future. Miss the moments practicing with you, love you!! xoxo.

Emily. Well, I didn't really talk with her too often but she is one of the pretty girls in AUSMAT hehe.

Hui Yi. EALD 5's class rep! 

Cheah Chyi. Another pixie hehehehehe. Nice working with you as a dance crew! I guess there will be no more chances for us to dance in the same stage anymore. Whatever it is, all the best to you! :)

Jordan. The first guy that we know in EALD class I guess? And we are in the same group doing our first assignment! :) Nice meeting you Jordan!

Lisa!!! Super hot and tall and pretty and sexy girl.

Mickey Mickey!! The cutest guy I've ever seen haha. You can't see through his sampatness until you get to know him deeper and what he did surprised me and made me laughed so hard! hahaha. Missing him already :(

Sze Cheng aka Wantan!!! Had so much fun teasing each other in chemistry class hehe.

Kok Hong. Only get to know him at the end of the year but still, it's nice to meet you!! :D

Miss Diana. Lecturer that always gave us laughter.

This Kula. Another cute guy in AUSMAT. Always give funny funny suggestions but he is one of the VIP for student council :)

Erica. The lovely lady who always motivates others, and I am one of them too!! And she is kinda scary because she loves playing with lizards ahahahaha.

Jessica. One of my supporter as well, always motivates me when I'm down even we're not close to each other. All the best to you ya girl :)

Mommy-to-be EALD lecturer Miss Julia! :)

Another VIP for me. We've been in the same high school and same college. We had double graduation together. It was a really nice year spending with you especially you willing to be my "dustbin" hehe. Listen to my complains when I'm down. Thank you very much girl! 

Zen Zen. The dictionary hehe.

President Karen!! The lady that I respect the most in AUSMAT. She is really a superwoman :)

Tzia-E.

Chia Yung! lol. Another very sampat guy. Happy sampat-ing with you in maths class especially the last maths class where we had party in the classroom, haha.

Miss Vanitha. Thanks for every efforts you put in AUSMAT and provide the best for us. Thanks for the supports and everything.

Le Miss Giita. Gonna miss her so much!!

EALD 5 buddies!!! :)

Moreover, not to forget Le Monsters. They are always there for me for the whole year. We laughed together, we cried together, we depressed together, we nervous together and more and more!! Whenever I'm with them, I will forget every sorrows. Every jokes they said can make us laugh till tear. They are not like those normal friends where they always want hang out or yumcha those normal activity, what we did was badminton session, all the way down to Klang for bak kut teh, go for skating, and skytrex. All the abnormal stuffs we did give me so much memories. Promise me we will keep in touch till forever :) Okay back to the titile, we took so much pictures on that day and we were so sampat on that night. I remembered we did the YUM SENG haha and the lecturers know that it was from us, I wonder why ._. lol. 

Wei Shan is sitting at another table so she is not in this photo :( Yeapp, these are the craziest sakais that suddenly popped into my life!! Never bored of meeting them and I can be very excited for every outings with them!!!

Can you see the sampat-ness? ahaha.

The original Le Monsters hahahaha. Why is it original? Because when the name Le Monsters is formed, there are only six of us. After that we add on some of them so now there are 9 of us!! :)

Random group photo together! hehehehe.

Before we go home, Hui How and I have this competition, the ghost face competition. Hui How won it because..........

HOW CAN WE NOT LAUGH AT HIM!!!! Hahahahahahaha. 

I guess this post is too long, and I am really lazy to continue typing anymore, so maybe I will do another post that is all about le monsters! :)

I think the most difficult moment is saying goodbye with everyone of them. Some people I may not see him/her anymore forever :( We stayed till the lights of the hall all turned off, and I guess we are the latest who go back. I really miss the night so much. Well, I guess this is the end of AUSMAT. I will always miss college life, always do, forever and ever :)

ONCE AN AUSMATIAN,

FOREVER AN AUSMATIAN.